S.Pacific.

Reference: Jacuzzi

Title: A Jacuzzi in the Pacific.

Length: 1500 words.

Publishing rights: All rights.

Travel operators: Air New Zealand and Orient Lines.

Copyright: Derrick Grover.

A Jacuzzi in the Pacific.

There is something unrealistic about sitting in a jacuzzi in the middle of the Pacific. Below me turquoise pools of foam and water recede behind us as the Marco Polo, our cruise ship, ploughs through the waves. We are surrounded by water as far as the eye can see and have been so for several days. The man in the next jacuzzi is sipping a vodka martini. In my view it is not a good idea to drink in these situations. All the bubbles coming up through the water are making it splash, and assuredly some of the splashes must be finding their way into his drink. If he were at home he would not consider supplementing his drink with bath water, even though he would have just changed it. Mind you there is a precedent. I have noticed that blackbirds regularly bathe in their drinking water.

It is remarkable how science and engineering have made life so easy for us. Here we are living in the lap of luxury separated only by sheets of metal from the turmoil beneath the surface of the waves as a shark devours another meal and a hundred fish dart hither and thither in their endless quest for food.

More than one thousand years ago the Polynesian natives had man-handled their canoes over the vastness of this ocean and navigated their way to the islands of Tonga, Fiji and many others. How many had perished in the act. What made them strike out into the unknown in the hope of finding land with only the stars and a westerly wind to guide them? Not for them the sophisticated radar, compass and satellite navigation systems with radio contact if the slightest mishap should occur. Only nineteen companions, fellow strivers at the paddle as their canoe mounted another wave.

Our floating palace is powered by 23,000 horse power twin diesel engines devouring 60 tons of fuel per day. This nerve centre of the ship occupies three decks and is laid out like the power station that it is. These are not the cramped conditions seen under the car bonnet as you try to wriggle a spanner into an impossible position. In here there is room to seat a symphony orchestra between the engines. Not that you would hear much of them of course, except maybe the trumpet.

On the bottom of the three decks is the control room with banks of dials to monitor this nerve centre on which life and frozen food depend. Failure of this vast technology would mean we would be at the mercy of the elements again, though not quite in the manner of the polynesian explorers. There would still be cover from the burning sun, albeit without airconditioning, and the waves would not lap over the deck and swamp our food.

We are not all as lazy as this life style pretends. On the deck below me is the gymnasium with an assorted range of equipment including monitors to check how hard we are working. The walking machines are quite popular, especially since the gymnasium is airconditioned. There is a regular clientele competing for its services before breakfast. It can be set for running if the user is so motivated but I notice that a brisk walking pace is more popular. To make it more difficult, the slope of the machine can be altered so that one is climbing up an interminable hill.

I have been impressed by the determination of an American lady who strides purposefully uphill every morning as though she were out to conquer a mountain before breakfast. In my view the gymnasium should be more popular than it is, as retribution for all the food that is being eaten. The aerobic classes, however, are full with people paying their penance for the six course meals. It would be better for us if we were like the polynesian oarsmen who would work up a healthy appetite ready for the next meal and take their food as a reward for an honest day of toil. On here the food comes first and the exercise second, if at all. In fact the next meal is likely to come before we have properly digested the last one.

Of course it is not all plain sailing and pleasure. We have lectures to attend when we will be educated on the anthropology and customs of the people on the islands we are to visit. We also have to work at our pleasure. There are many more diversions on board than our predecessors had on their craft. In the lounge, the ladies are viewing a hat parade. Forty hats were arranged on pedestals for their inspection and now, after tea to the accompaniment of the Cafe Concerto Strings, models are showing them off to an appreciative audience.

Further along in the casino people are working hard at beating the odds at Black Jack and the Roulette wheel. Elsewhere on the ship is the grandmother's sherry party, an occasion to bring out the photographs and boast of their children's offspring. There is a grandfathers' party also, but the rumour is that they are served beer and the conversation is about other things.

No doubt the ancient polynesians had grandparent parties but not, to be sure, on their sailing craft. Such occasions would await their arrival at a habitable island. Their parties would have been well lubricated by the traditional Kava drink. This muddy looking liquid made from ginger like roots is popular in these parts. It is said to be a mild narcotic that makes the lips and tongue go numb. Whether the numbness stifled the chatter at their gatherings is not recorded, but it is claimed to put the drinkers in a party mood. We have not experienced this euphoria, probably because we have been given a weaker mixture, or less of it.

The Polynesians had some advantages when travelling by canoe. The canoe could be driven up the beach so that it was easy to step off onto the sand with barely a shrug of the shoulders. When we visit an island we have to anchor out in the bay and transfer to a tender which takes us ashore. Then when we arrive at terra firma we expect there to be a floating jetty to step onto so as not to get our feet wet, or at least not until we have taken our shoes off. Not for us the virgin sand where no man has set foot before.

For all the remoteness of the islands we have visited there has been a western style loo inside a platted bamboo hut, and our barbecued meals have been served with a full set of cutlery and a napkin. This is not the place for those people who hanker after fresh fish caught over the stern of the boat and then burnt black on a smoky fire.

But speaking of firma, how did our forbears cope with seasickness. There would be no convenient tablet provided by Doctor Grant to be taken once every 12 hours, nor would there have been a comfortable cabin in which to lie down, with hot and cold running water, or other facilities. Perhaps the float on the outrigged canoe provided a sickbay for the afflicted and sleeping quarters for the exhausted. We can be sure that they needed their sleep, for their voyages lasted many weeks or months. We do not know, records have not been kept of these details.

Of course in this tropical climate there is neither the need for hot water nor a cover on the bed. Instead of the shower there might have been one of these attractive Polynesian maidens scooping up tepid seawater with an empty coconut shell ready douse the oarsmen. We have never been told of the social makeup of these craft and have been led to believe that they were commanded solely by native warriors. They were not assured of the friendly welcome that we have received, when they visited new islands. In those days the meals, which arrived by boat, were not frozen beef and horseradish source; but a distinctly more human variety.

I have to say that I derive a certain comfort from knowing that the captain is following a well-navigated route. I also feel assured in the knowledge that it is important that our ship be at its destination in time to take on the next assignment of passengers. It would be different if I were a Polynesian warrior. I would have undergone the pain of extensive tattooing which is a mark of bravery in these parts and which would have commanded the respect of my colleagues in bygone days. In those circumstances minor difficulties, like finding land in the next few weeks, would have been subjugated to the greater glory of finding land at all.

We Travelled to the Pacific with Air New Zealand, for further information please click here.

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